Hey, You! You’re doing great!

So it’s been three and a half months into my official adult life in Boston and I will say that it hasn’t been too shabby.

Throughout this time, I’ve met with a lot of my college friends. In fact, the people I primarily hang out with are my friends from work, college, roommates or family. In the times that I have hung out with members of my graduating class or those who had graduated few years before me, a certain topic has always seemed to finagle its way into our conversations.

“How do I make friends?” and “Why does it seem so hard to make friends all of a sudden?”

It may seem kind of comical that this is an issue, but let’s break it down.

From the moment we enter school up until the time we leave it, we find our crew. We generally do this by establishing commonalities, whether through activities or personality traits, for example. The way we make friends doesn’t seem to change, but it seems like it’s just become a lot harder. Any theories on why?

Some advice I’ve received that I’ll share with you is to check out Meetup.com and Boston Social Sports. If you have any other suggestions, please send them my way.

In the meantime, I just wanted to give out a dose of some Monday Motivation:

You’re Doing Better Than You Think You Are

Until next time,

Christianne

~~~Update~~~10/29/2015

After receiving some feedback from friends and other readers, I’ve come to some conclusions that I think are best summarized by my college friend, Mark Daniel:

“1) Most friends in school are friends by default. You spend so much time together that it’s hard not to have some type of bond.

2) Instant connections in adulthood come from shared belief systems and similar dreams, but rarely do people allow themselves to be vulnerable enough to facilitate this.

3) “Working” life imposes many hard filters on us and how + with whom we spend our time. Before you know it, you’re in a routine. It becomes hard to remove those filters, and it takes very serious effort to develop real relationships.”

With that said, friendships are not going to come easy. They require hard work paired with a mixture of vulnerability and availability. As with anything, if you put in the effort, you will see results. Don’t worry if it doesn’t come fast. Sometimes the best things happen when we least expect it.

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2 thoughts on “Hey, You! You’re doing great!

  1. When I worked in Wash DC, i buried myself in the work infrequently going out on the weekends. As the internet was yet invented, I relegated to join/volunteer/participate in sporting activities that I preferred.

    Advise get involved in a philanthropic endeavor. You know something greater than yourself. Life is best when a shared experience. Otherwise you’re left with Tinder.

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